Camo-frog-age (Taken with instagram)
Austrian Death Machine - “Get To The Choppa”
This exists and I am gleeful. #schwarzeneggerworship
Not saying it was, but it totally was.
Pictures of me, like you need any more of a headache. Don’t you just love the “blog-o-sphere?”
We’re cute. Had a day out with this beautiful woman.
Analysis of “Autistic Duvet” by Anonymous
“Austistic Duvet” is a poem beyond general comprehension. Only those that seek true meaning in the little, seemingly “insignificant” things would be able to grasp
the true beauty and artistry of this “list.”
“Autistic
duvet
250″
Are there 250 mentally-handicapped duvets flopping around the city streets?
“dog food
therapy”
Clearly the author is concerned about his/her dog, and places these two items successively for a reason. Perhaps they are scheduling a counseling session because the dog is insufficiently pleased with dog food.
“pez
pounds
look Jewish”
The author is respectful of the Jewish (I nearly forgot to capitalize it myself), and treats himself for his racial (or religious?) sensitivity by buying pounds of sugary pez refills.
“half
hot coco
homeless”
I’m blown away by the powerful use of alliteration.
“Mexicans
kill self
Gre(mlins?)”
I now know how the archaeologists felt when recovering partically destroyed documents from major sites. So close to the end of this masterful work, and half (HALF!) of a word is lost to indecipherable text.
It seems as though the author was haunted deeply by this G-word, and was driven to suicidal thoughts, leaving the rest of the word sloppily written because they lacked the will to complete such a loaded word.
“iphone
date”
There is hope! Our unnamed author has connected his/her self to another (via iPhone, presumably) and is looking forward to a date. Love, the sustain-er! We can rejoice knowing that this poem has come to a close on such jovial terms, and that our author has had nothing but success on this date.
Swans of Mentality
Throughout my life, I have always maintained the thought that no other living being can experience the same things as I do. Shaped by every waking moment, I have grown to realize how different we all are, that normal isn’t achievable, and that I am a swan.
When I was committed to a mental hospital last (insert month here), I was put into a place where my main goal was to display my true mental state to the officials intent on diagnosing me and helping me out of this detrimental rut in consciousness.
Every morning I would wake up, go to a seemingly infinite series of meetings with my fellow committees, and present my untainted opinion. My personal doctor would pull me into a private office every 2 days and speak to me one-on-one. I told them my story, and every day my facade would fall away piece by piece. What I believed to be right changed every day.
Imagine a swan, if you will. My mental image of a swan may be ten feet tall and look nothing like your swan, and I would never know if you didn’t describe to me what your vision is. My swan changes as I receive input from everyday experiences. I used this anecdote to relay the shifting current that is my mind to the doctors, and they dismissed me as delusional and absurd.
Nothing I say is steadfast, besides my statement that my perspective is constantly changing. I left the hospital with instructions to go to psychotherapy, and advice to find solid ground. This went against everything I knew about myself, and I eventually disregarded the advice.
My personal therapist was more accepting of my worldview, and encouraged me to apply my swan metaphor to myself as a being. I am finally out of the mental hospital mentality, or an overwhelming urge to portray a “normal” person, and have moved on to seeing myself as an infinitely adaptable swan.
Like the tale of the ugly duckling, when he realizes that he has always been beautiful in his own way despite being different than his family and peers, I am stuck in that moment. Forever changing in my perception of self and interest in others perception as it coincides and conflicts with mine.
Homophobia in the home.
My stepfather is bullying my brother to tears threatening him with grounding if he doesn’t name a girl he is attracted to. My brother is 8, and this is terrifying. Homophobia in my own home.
I don’t know what to do other than pull my brother aside afterwards and reassure him that it is normal not to like anyone at his age, and even if he did, our father has no right to force him to tell who.
